Tuesday, October 17, 2006
A Moment on the Soap Box
I do not usually comment here on current events, but I feel the need to vent. Madonna, this week, adopted a young boy from Africa, Malawi, I believe. Not a place I have ever heard of, but one of the poorest countries on the planet. Over a million orphan children, most die in childhood from Malaria, most orphaned due to early death of a parent and extreme poverty. A country, that up until now, has been very hesitant to allow any foreign adoptions, has a law in place that you must live there for a year prior to an adoption. This requirement makes adoption pretty much unheard of.
Enter Madonna, she has decided to not only provide millions of dollars to help the orphan situation there, but she has also adopted a one year old boy. A child, whose mother died while giving birth to him and whose two older siblings died young from malaria. His father is destitute and placed the child in the orphanage shortly after birth because he could not care for him or foresee ever being able to. Madonna, after perusing several children, like a lot of adoptive parents do in one way or another, chose to adopt him, with the consent of his father. A chance for survival, a future and a life with the endless possibilities of success.
Good for the father, Good for the child, Good for Madonna and Guy.
What is the problem.
Another orphan child who had no future now has a loving family, food, care , support and a chance.
To read the adoption boards this week , you would think that Madonna is a deviant with an extensive criminal background. That she snuck into Africa in the dead of night, greased a few palms and stole this child from the cradle in his family home,never to be seen or heard from again.
I mean really. Get a Grip!
This child will be followed, photographed and become an African adoption poster child right up there next to Angelina's African daughter. Probably for at least the next, say 30 years.
On the one hand we have poverty, little food, probable death from preventable medical condition or
we have family, love, care, plenty of food , education,financial security and life.
What a choice, hmmmm, let's see, what would be in the best interest for this little boy.........
This Human Rights group that wants him returned to his former plight...Well, I wouldn't want them advocating for me or my children, would you?
Many seem caught up on the presence of the father. Most children adopted now in the US have bio parents alive and well and who consented to the adoption. Open adoption even keeps them in the picture.
As far as I know the bio parents of both of my children adopted from Russia are living and consented to my adoption of them. Or at least placed them willingly at birth in the orphanage system.
Our adoptions aren't so different than Madonna's.
Except that she has done and will do much more for the children left behind than any one of us can or will do for the children left behind in Russia.
She has the money, clout and celebrity to actually make a difference in the lives of children other than the one she adopted.
Would it make me mad if she was able to adopt faster than I had. No, because a year from now that little boy may have been dead. That is his reality. Maybe it will prompt other nations to make exceptions to the time frame rule in their own countries. How great would that be.
Reading between the lines of posts that are screaming out against her adoption just sound like sour grapes to me. I agree that waiting to adopt a child from a foreign country takes more time than it should, tests the patience and endurance of families, stretches finances and emotions and even deters many from the pursuit.
But while we are waiting and whining here in our heated and air conditioned homes, with plenty to eat, plenty to do and knowing it will eventually culminate in success and a child,
our child, a child, many children
are starving, sick, suffering unimaginable conditions and irrevocable damage while waiting also.
Children from all over the World,
some places that make the orphanages of Russia look like luxurious palaces.
Places where adoption is unheard of, never heard of and will never happen.
Places the world has never heard of.
Places like Malawi.
A poor African country where a famous face went, helped and made one of them her own.
She made the world aware of this place, it's plight and it's children.
A father now knows his child has the one in a million chance at life.
Literally one in a million.
Actually one in ten million in Africa
So before we selfishly make insulting remarks about this woman, this adoption and this process.
Let's remember why we become parents and why we adopt.

Not for the process,
but for the children.
And in the end we realize that we, ourselves get the most out of it.
A chance to love,
to watch a child grow and blossom
to see the future in their eyes and in their laughter.
Now David Richey, will get the chance to grow and laugh.
And he will be watched.



Anonymous debness said...

AAAhhhh Freemom...our voice of reason! I was amazed at the comments as well. It is amazing to me how people are so quick to spew negativity. How can we possibly know all the facts. It reminds me of what people say to Terry and I when we tell them about our plans to adopt.Lots of silly comments but also very kind ones as well. Thanks for the good read.

Anonymous debness said...

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