Friday, October 13, 2006
L'Oreal, Love handles, and laughter
So when did my tan start looking like an advertisement for Oreo’s? This morning while I was standing in the mirror unclothed while I was color enhancing my hair, I realized that my summer tan made me want an Oreo. That was because while from the chest and arms up and from my hips down I was a nice healthy tan, but my middle section looked scarily like the white middle of a double stuff. When did this happen? I still own two piece bathing suits, I see them in my drawer. I tried one on, it still fits, so it could not have been than long ago. Mmmmmm, I sigh.I could spray tan or fake and bake, but honestly , just not interested.
I then take a look around my closet the shoe area, A few with heels, some clogs but I realize that my last three shoe purchases fall comfortably in the ,well, comfort zone. Hey, but flats are in this season so I am covered there, the third pair are ….Crocs.
I Know, I Know, so ugly. How did they get on my feet, right now as I am typing even.
When crocs starting becoming popular last year, I thought, those are just the rubber clogs we have been in operating room for years. No one would dare venture out in public in them. But here they were ,everywhere. At sporting good stores and even Hallmark. That was some sales pitch whammy they put on Hallmark. My nieces arrived at ballet class with my daughter one day sorting Neon Pink and Neon Yellow. Rather Nauseating. I was so happy to hear my daughter announce after seeing them, they are so ugly and look like boy shoes. Whew, dodged that one.
Then my husband, who prides himself in not following tends and fads, casually tried some on at the big Sporting Goods store this summer, kinda like a joke, Well, the joke was on me. Next thing I know he is at the cashier buying a Khaki pair, XL. And proceeds to put them on and wear them the rest of the day. Ok, he just turned 50 , maybe this is his little midlife crisis statement-CROCS.
Now the trouble starts. He tells me that he wants me to find a pair for our son, for the summer and beach trip. My daughter hear this and now she must have some too. What is this, a conspiracy. So , being the good wife and mother that I am , I find the Croc website on line. Or Croc Heaven I should say. Every style in 18 colors. Yes, go to and see for yourself. Croc Sandals, various clogs, slip ones, thongs and Mary Jane’s.
I add to my shopping cart a nice baby blue pair for my princess and a tan pair for the little prince. Ready to Checkout. Not so fast. Well, were are going camping in a few weeks…..and I refuse to stand barefoot on the floor of the public showers we will have to use……and they are rubbery and easy to clean…….and, what the hell, so I order myself I nice little sandal type pair. You know for the beach, camping, pool.
That’s how it starts , First you wear them as athletic equipment and soon you decided they do match my khaki shorts, Hey, I am just running to Wal-Mart and before I knew it I was a crocaholic. Finally comfort meets trendy, not sure if fashion is in play here or not. I just found out that in November they are coming out with Disney Crocs, with cute little Mickey head cutouts. Yes, I have preordered some for my princess, pink this time.
The final chapter of the Croc Attack is my Step Father, a 68 year old School Superintendent who never even owned a pair of jeans or tennis shoes until he met my Mom 9 years ago. I saw him eyeing my husband’s crocs and saying that they must be comfortable if Billy is wearing them, to which my husband agreed that was the only reason he would. So for his birthday, I ordered him a pair. Now, that is all he is wearing now. He is the hippest Grandpa on the block. And just the other day I noticed my Mother in Law sporting a pair on her 78 year old feet. Comfort beats out ugly every time. There is a certain exhaling of the soul when you embrace and accept that stage in life.
Every magazine I read has volumes dedicated to looking younger, being younger, what’s in, what’s out, they want to do the thinking for you. I even saw a print add recently in a parenting magazine with the caption
” She doesn’t Look like a Mom,Does she?” WHAT…
What does a Mom look Like???
This woman looked in her thirties, she wasn’t dressed like a stripper. She had on a cute little knee length skirt, simple top, long neat straight blond hair and round toe low heels. Smiling and Holding a toddler.
I didn’t get it.
What is their idea of a Mom who looks like a Mom?
A chubby unfit, bare faced woman of unidentifiable age, uncombed hair, bedroom slippers, stretch pants and a multi colored polyester shirt with a baby wipe stuck to her butt.
The great thing about being a Mom these days is that we come in all shapes and sized and ages and personality.
We can be 26 or 46 with a toddler or a teenager.
We can be Vegan, Organic or Menu Divas. Homeschoolers or Corporate Raiders. Botox or Youth out of a Box
Single, Married, Significant Other, Two Moms, Two Dads.
Raising Bio, Donor, or Adopted children.
You can be sucked, plucked and Tucked
Or jiggly, giggly and proud.
One reason why I am feel so good about being a 46 year old woman raising two young children with a 50 year old husband is that we have learned to not only love ourselves and this time in our life but we are happy with who we are and content with the choices we make.
We can laugh at ourselves, we are proud of our wrinkles and few gray hairs. We have earned every one of them. I have been the style monger fashionista who followed the trends with the best of them. I now have the confidence to like what I like and to ignore what I don’t, regardless of mass appeal and what the Stars are wearing.
I am me, that is who my husbands loves and my kids adore. I feel pretty damn good when I look in the mirror. Oreo stomach and all. My neck is still wrinkle free, I have worn the same size 9/10 for the last 8 years .I was recently carded at the liquor store.
Life is Good!
I can equalize comfort with style and clean up pretty good.
I love my Minivan and my Maxi life.
I adore my kids.
My daughter’s non stop commentary on the world and my son’s sensory issues and odd language makes him King of the world to me.
In our little kingdom there are only a few rules.
Laugh a lot and often at yourself
Love who you are, no matter who you are
Be your own trendsetter and style maven
And even if its ugly, if you like it, it becomes beautiful
Middle age, is that what this is.
I call it the Decade of Enlightenment.
Free to be Me.
Now, excuse me while I go wash the L’Oreal Preference Light Beige Blonde #9 1/2 B out of my hair.
It is the age of enlightenment after all.


Anonymous deborah nessmith said...

I can totally RELATE!!! I think my two piece bathing suit will retire after this last summer. I loved the the turtle story! debness

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