Friday, March 16, 2007
Special Child, Special Love
Recently I have joined a web group composed of Moms of Special Needs kids.I have been so inspired by them and we have become a great resource and support for each other at Most members are Mom's like me who have been parenting a differently abled child for a while, some are Mom's just beginning the journey and others are waiting for a child to be born that they are already aware it will have some issues. You may surprised to learn that their main emotion is not disappointment or Why me? or Why My Child?
The fear of the unknown is most prevalent.
They have no doubt that they will love and cherish this child.
They worry are
they strong enough,
resourceful enough and
have enough courage to help this child navigate life and sometimes just live?
How will are lives change?
Since my two are adopted from Russia, that forum also deals with special children with special needs from mental and emotional to physical. Recently a Mom asked for words of encouragement while awaiting the birth of a special needs child.
This is what I told her
As the mother of a special needs child, I can offer these few thoughts.
The unknown was far scarier and harder than the reality.
The blessings of my son was more than we could have ever imagined.
He has taught us more about love, compassion, happiness and success than we could have ever learned in any other way.
We are far better and happier people than we were before him.
You will be stronger, more courageous,more resourceful and flexible than you ever imagined you could be.
Those that are never tested, never know their full potential.
We could not imagine and would never want to imagine our lives without our son.
We have met the most amazing children and incredible parents through our son.And they have fully enriched our lives.
No matter how difficult a moment may be, we have encountered other parents and children facing far worse hurdles with much worse prognosis than we faced and they wished to GOD that they were dealing with the issues that we were facing, someone or something always appeared to put our lives and struggle into perspective and give us a new outlook on our life and our son.
I look at my son's issues as a Badge.
Not one he asked for but one he must wear.
A Badge of Courage
A Badge of Honor
I hope I can show the world it is a Badge of Promise
I hope I can teach him it is a Badge of Pride
I believe that there was something in my spirit and soul that guided God to place this amazing and precious child in my arms and my heart.
He makes me feel special and honored and blessed.
I want to tell all parents who are parenting a special child or may in the future.
There will come a day and a time that you will look at your unique and amazing child and say
"THANK YOU" to the universe for all that he is to you and all that he has given you.
This I know for sure.

Saturday, March 03, 2007
Officially out of the Baby Zone
I have reached another Mommy milestone this past week.
First off, both of my babies have lost their first baby teeth.
Second, After redecorating our son's room last week, there are no longer a single remnant of either child's nursery in view. In fact, my son's Red and Gray Bama and FSU Seminole theme room could be the room of an 8 year old or an 18 year old, complete with Queen size bed.
Third, I gave the last of my baby paraphernalia away. The crib, changing table and Jogging Stroller that have been hibernating in my attic, I gave to my niece who is about to give birth to number 4.
Which brings me to
Fourth, I have absolutely not a single solitary residual feeling of Baby Envy. I loved the baby and toddler stages of my two. But only my two. Loved it, lived it and do not wish to return.
I have no desire for and it takes some effort for the OOOing or AHHHing about anything baby related. You could say I've lost that loving feeling toward babies. That is in regard to baby of my own. Someone Else's OK, I can tolerate it but even then, I've just lost interest.
I find myself really enjoying a child who can have an opinion, a conversation and a trip to the bathroom unescorted.
I like that mine can help with the laundry instead of just make laundry.
I like that they can go outside and play without my supervision needed to prevent them from eating dirt or bugs or playing in the street.
If they eat a bug now, well it just means they knew what they were doing and just wanted to and they now tell me when I get to close to the street.
I like that when we get in the car, other than the booster seats I insist they still sit in, I am not lugging along any other kid stuff. No stroller, or diaper bag or sippy cup or kid friendly food. If I don't need it than neither do they.
It actually feels rather freeing to be able to admit all of this.
I know some Mom's mourn this part of their life, when a new baby in the house is no longer an option for any number of reasons. They pine for the days of bottles, nightly awakenings and Mommy and me classes. Mom's who eagerly reach out for any and every baby to hold, breathe in deeply the smell of Johnson's Baby lotion and curdling formula stains almost as if it is an aphrodisiac.
Like a baby holds some Magic Youth Potion.
I think it works the opposite.
The older mine get ,the more sleep I get, the more help I get, the more energetic and youthful I feel.
Like the more birthdays they have, the less birthdays I feel.
My 6 year old daughter smells like my Estee Lauder Beyond Paradise Perfume.
My son smells like Cool Ranch Doritos and a Dr.Pepper.
To me, that's the smell of Youth.
The smell of energy and vitality.
The way my babies are smelling these days.
And I'm loving every whiff of it.